


with your rose coloured hope

by Misprinting (misprinting)



Series: a synthetic kind of love [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Sexual exploration, Tour!fic, exploration of feelings, robot!liam, veela!harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-07
Updated: 2012-01-07
Packaged: 2017-11-10 12:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/466206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misprinting/pseuds/Misprinting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam is a robot. Harry is a Veela. Louis is pretty messed up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	with your rose coloured hope

Their last solo performance on the X Factor tour ends with the five of them piling into each other for a huddle, and Liam thinks _my boys_ without any particular direction to it, it’s just a thought and it means something and it feels special in his head, and he sighs, happy.

And then they’re back out again for Heroes one last time and it’s feels like _goodbye_ , because there’s no seeing his boys for a little while after that night. They’re all heading home for a week or two, and they need it but Liam still thinks he might miss them. He’ll miss Niall with his laugh and his hugs and Zayn with his quiet and that thing he does with his face that Liam likes, where it scrunches up, and he’ll miss touching Harry’s hair and the way Harry makes Louis laugh where Liam never can and he’ll miss the times Louis looks at him like he’s not someone he ever expected to meet, maybe, if that’s Liam reading it right.

He tells Niall something like that that night when they’ve returned to the tour bus that’s taking them back to their hotel and Niall laughs just like Liam likes and ruffles his hair just like he doesn’t and says, “who knew a robot could do sentimental, huh?” Liam shrugs and smiles and thinks _well, you did,_ and wonders how he can show Niall how grateful he is for that.

He’s still thinking about that when Harry sits on them both, across their legs instead of next to Liam on the sofa like he’s pretty sure is the usual thing, but then this is Harry, so. Harry grabs Liam’s hand and pulls it into his hair, giving him this _look_ that somehow makes Liam’s hand start stroking without him telling it to. Harry grins at him.

“I’m _Harry,_ I blow kisses now because _everyone loves me_ ,” Louis says, sitting down on the sofa opposite and laughing in Harry’s direction. Liam opens his mouth to say, “no, Louis, you’re Louis,” but Niall sends him a look and then giggles like he’d known what Liam was about to say, and he doesn’t.

Harry looks at Louis the way Zayn sometimes does, chin thrust forward, and says, “Everyone _does_ love me, Lou, they can’t help it. You shouldn’t make fun of them.”

“ _Vee-la_ ,” Zayn sings, ruffling Harry’s hair on his way past, sinking down next to Louis. Harry nods.

“I call that an unfair advantage,” Louis says, pouting, “Of course everyone loves you best. It’s so unfair.”

Harry nods. “It’s true,” He says, pushing his head back into Liam’s hand. “I’m impressed the rest of you keep up so well, to be honest.” He smiles in a way Liam _thinks_ is smug. “Everyone wants my body. It is the Veela Curse.”

“Oh, sod off,” Zayn laughs, but Harry just sticks his tongue out at him and shakes his head.

“Nah, really,” He says, “Look, even _Liam_ wouldn’t say no. And he’s a _robot_.”

Louis rolls his eyes and kicks Harry from across the aisle, but Harry just laughs at him and kisses Liam smackingly on the cheek, as if to provoke Louis.

“He would not.” Louis says, like he gets the final word on it, and Liam frowns.

“Bet he would,” Harry says, and turns to Liam, smiling softly at him. “Wouldn’t you, Liam?”

Liam thinks about it. He shrugs. “I don’t know,” He tells them honestly, and ignores Zayn snorting. “I don’t really know what there is to would or wouldn’t about it. Um.” Niall and Louis look at him with widened eyes.

“I am so tempted to kiss you and see right now,” Harry says, and flashes a quick grin at Liam. Niall makes a sound of protest and Zayn says, “ _Harry_ ,” warningly, like it’s this awful thing he’s suggesting.

And Liam can’t quite figure out what’s so awful about it.

*

 

At home there’s a lot less to do than Liam remembers, and he sees his family and most of his friends from school but people have had their lives go on while he was gone and it’s weird, he doesn’t… _slot_ like he used to. He spends too much money texting the boys because of it but it at least makes his chest feel less liquidy and weird.

He thinks about what Harry’d said a lot. And he remembers when he was a kid, coming home from school wearing a gummy ring and telling his mum how a girl in his class had asked him to marry her and he’d said yes because Andy’d whispered something about her maybe crying if he said no, so he’d said “okay” and her friend had been the priest. He’d told his mum all that and she’d sat him down and said, “Liam, you know when I tell you how I love you with all of my heart, darling?” And he’d nodded and touched his chest the way she always done and she’d nodded and said, “sweetheart, you don’t have a heart. Do you understand?” And Liam remembers how he’d tilted his head to the side and nodded, saying, “that makes sense.” He’d given the ring back the next day.

But Liam’s not so sure that does make sense anymore, and he’d only been seven back then. He thinks maybe he can decide for himself, now. So he goes to Blockbuster and rents _Love Actually_ and _The Notebook_ on Harry’s recommendation (he asks what girly, lovey films to buy his sister, but Harry puts a wink-y face at the end of his text back and he doesn’t normally do that and Liam… wonders if maybe Harry’s been thinking about what he’d said, too).

So Liam watches both films one night when his parents are out and when they’re over he sends Harry a text that says, _i dont no if i would but i dont have a hart :/_ , and Harry texts back, _that’s okay you arent the only 1 who doesnt know if they would_ and then _and some ppl have pigs hearts_.

And Liam thinks about that. And eventually he thinks _people dont love with there brian_ and he texts that to Harry, who sends back, _then stop thinking and do .x_

And Liam thinks _huh_ and decides he might just.

*

Next time he sees Harry they’re at a meeting with their management to talk about their upcoming next few weeks and things, and Harry keeps catching his eye and winking or sticking his tongue out at him and Liam’s never felt like he ought to react to those thing before but now his body is reacting without his telling it to and that’s… it’s weird. Liam’s not sure where to go with that. So mostly he looks at his hands.

They’re staying in hotels for a while since they don’t know where they’re going to be living yet, and there’s a trip to LA sometimes very soon and also maybe to Sweden, and it’s all coming up very fast, suddenly. They get their own rooms, now, which is nice, but Liam misses having someone else’s mess to pile his own around and he’s used to the sound of someone else in the room, so after maybe ten minutes flicking through TV channels he gets up and goes looking for someone.

It’s probably just coincidence that he finds Harry first.

“Hi,” He says, and goes to wave before stoping himself because he _knows_ this, and he goes in for a hug instead. Harry laughs at him and then grabs his hand.

“I’m bored, come entertain me,” He says, and Liam stumbles after him.

Harry shuts the door to his room behind them both as Liam says, “Um, isn’t Louis usually better for that sort of… thing?”

Harry shrugs. “Depends what I’m looking for,” He says brightly, and pulls Liam down onto the bed to sit next to him. They look at each other. “So,” Harry finally says, smiling, “How is your self-discovery thingy going?”

Liam frowns. “My, um, self- Oh!” He realises Harry means the texts they’d sent over the break and looks away. “Um. I don’t- um.” Liam looks at his hands twisting in his lap, and he’s not sure he gave them permission to do that, actually. “You said, like, ‘stop thinking; do,’ right?” He checks with a quick glance up at Harry, who nods, smiling just a little. Liam nods back and starts towards him, stops, and says, “Can I just… try?” leaning forward before Harry can even blink. He touches Harry’s jaw with his thumb and leans in a bit closer, gently sliding his lips against Harry’s.

Harry makes a noise and Liam doesn’t know if that’s good or bad and really he doesn’t know what he’s doing and so when Harry slides his hand into Liam’s hair and pulls him closer, kissing the corner of Liam’s lips, Liam feels such a huge balloon of relief he’s frightened it might burst until he remembers that is just a metaphor and this just a… just a kiss, though it is his first. Harry just then presses a more open kiss against Liam’s cupid’s bow, sweeping his lips across to the other side of Liam’s lips and then he kisses him properly, openly, and just that little bit wetly. Harry’s chin brushes against Liam’s as he tilts in and Liam jumps from the sharp, unexpected brush of stubble.

Harry pulls back. Liam keeps his eyes closed. His lips are tingling and he feels like he maybe wants to do that again, figure out how to get good at it. He slowly opens his eyes and finds Harry smiling at him, a bit like how Niall smiles at him when Liam surprises him with a hug, and Liam smiles back. It feels a little big for his face and his lips don’t feel like they’re totally his anymore, but he’s… strangely okay with that.

“Was that okay?” Harry asks, taking his hand from Liam’s hair, smoothing it down his arm. Dumbly, Liam nods.

“Can I… do it again?” He asks, not sure what part of him wants it but knowing it does. Harry laughs and nods, already leaning in, gently touching Liam’s ear in a way that makes Liam moan a little and shift closer and Liam’s not sure about this, this thing where his body does things without him telling it, but then he likes this… _feeling_.

 _I feel_ , He thinks, and it feels like something he _knows_ for the first time ever.

*

Liam notices he’s finding it hard to not look at Harry’s mouth when they’re halfway through an interview with the Sugerscape girls, so he just sort of thinks _huh_ and files it away to ask Harry about later.

When he does, Harry laughs in this way that makes him look all open and young and he reaches for Liam’s hand and tangles their fingers together. He says, “Oh, _Liam_ , I think you might be having the slowest sexual awakening ever to be.” But then he smiles like that’s the best thing ever and Liam smiles back, because it was always _slow and steady wins the race_ , wasn’t it? And he’s in no hurry, besides; Harry’s not going anywhere.

Liam notices Harry touching his lips, then, and leans in for a kiss just because it’s something he thinks about doing and so he does it, and Harry laughs against him.

*

“Do you ever dream?” Harry asks Liam one too-bright-and-early morning on their way to a radio interview. Louis is slumped against Liam’s shoulder and Liam’s a bit distracted by the thought that just happened in his head where he realised this must be the first time Louis’ done this. Niall and Zayn are drooping on each other like they’re about to go the same way as Louis, and Harry’s watching them rather than Liam.

“No,” Liam says, because he never has. Harry nods and doesn’t mention it again.

*

They’re making out on a bed in a hotel in Germany when Harry pulls away from Liam long enough to ask, “Hey, can you get hard?” He bites his lip and Liam looks at it, and he wonders if that was on purpose or if it’s a nervous thing and he ends up frowning and then Harry says, “Sorry, I wouldn’t ask, but…” and Liam interrupts him.

“Yes,” He tells him, and leans in for more kisses. But Harry pulls back. Liam tilts his head.

“Are you… sure?” Harry asks, his eyes all wide and a bit crinkly at the edges but not like when he laughs. “Only,” He says, “… You don’t.”

“Oh, um.” Liam says, feeling himself blush. “…Should I?”

Harry stares at him for a second and then, flicking a strand of Liam’s hair out of his eyes, asks, “Liam, have you had any sex ed?”

Liam thinks if he looked in a mirror his cheeks would be the colour of Harry’s lips. “Um. Yes?” He says, and wonders why his voice sounds like that. “There was…” He makes a gesture. “Um. A banana? And stuff.” It wasn’t that he hadn’t understood it at the time, it was just… it hadn’t had anything to do with him. And, also, _the banana_.

“Right,” Harry says, his eyes huge like Liam can’t ever remember seeing a human’s go before, and he wonders if it’s the Veela in Harry, maybe. “So, um.” He says, and then sort of shakes himself and sits up, crossing his legs under him and clasping his hands. Liam’s not sure what to do at first but, after a second of getting a crick in his neck he scrambles up to copy his position. Harry looks him in the eye and Liam matches him.

“Sex,” Harry starts, “Is something two people do - or, actually, three or four or however many you can get in the available space, really, - sometimes - quite a lot, actually - to show how they feel about each other. Um. And also it feels good.”

Liam nods. “I had, um. Gathered that,” He says. Harry nods.

“I know, I’m sorry, it’s just… I’m not really,” He makes a wide gesture. “I’m not sure where to _start_.”

“Well,” Liam says, “Um. I should get hard?”

Harry snorts. “ _Yeah_ , you should. When I’m kissing you you definitely should.” He glares.

“Sorry,” Liam says, not very sincerely. Harry hits his arm.

“When _do_ you get hard?” Harry asks, pulling a face. Liam shrugs.

“In the morning, usually,” He says, and frowns when Harry snorts.

“You mean they _programmed in morning wood?_ ” He asks, and then starts petting Liam’s head. “That is _precious_.” He says.

“I… suppose?”

Harry stops petting Liam long enough to kiss him once and then goes back to watching him carefully. “Do you ever do anything about it?” He asks, slanting a look at Liam that has him shifting in his seat before he realises he’s going to.

Liam slowly shakes his head. “Not… not really. Not for a while. It wasn’t… what I was expecting, so I… don’t.”

Harry looks at him for a while, long enough that Liam starts thinking about Harry’s lips again and wondering about them, just generally. Finally, Harry quietly asks, “Were you not expecting to, like… feel?”

Liam bites his lip and looks away from Harry totally, shrugs a little harder than usual and doesn’t say anything. It’s complicated and it was so long ago; he’s not sure what he imagined and what was what he’d been told and what was him, so he just doesn’t think about it. Liam sees Harry nod from the corner of his eye and then he touches Liam’s chin, drawing him into a kiss again.

A proper one. A long, sweet, and wet one. One where Liam doesn’t even begin to mind when Harry leans up over him and slots their legs together so Liam can feel where Harry _is_ hard because it’s too good to mind anything.

*

On a plane to LA, Harry decides not to wear clothes. Zayn rolls his eyes but Louis wolf-whistles and Niall sniggers sleepily against his shoulder. Harry swaps seats with Zayn to sit with Liam and whispers, “so, I’ve been thinking: we should further your sexual education.”

Liam thinks about it.

“Okay,” He says, and smiles at Harry.

*

In a hotel in LA Harry gives Liam his first ever hand-job. It’s the weirdest, most wonderful, most _overwhelming_ thing, and Liam sighs against Harry’s mouth as he comes down from it and then says, “that was… oh,” and then, “amazing.”

“Yep,” Harry whispers back right against his lips, kissing him.

Liam returns the favour, sleepy and still so unsure. He doesn’t want to get it wrong _so badly_ , but pretty soon Harry’s gasping his name and it’s feels messier on this end and Harry’s face is _so_ amazing to look at through it that Liam doesn’t even care.

They settle against each other in a way that feels new all over Liam’s skin, and Liam strokes Harry’s hair.

“Do you think you’d ever do this with a human?” Harry asks him, finally, eyes only slitted and voice hushed. Liam blinks back surprise for a second.

“Um, I don’t-“ He frowns. “Maybe?”

Harry nods as though that’s enough, and then says, “Maybe you should think about it.”

And Liam nods even though he’s not sure he gets it, smiling because Harry does. Harry’s steered him right so far, after all.

*

 

Liam tries to take his time thinking about what Harry said, but in the end he doesn’t need all that much time. He thinks _who do I trust enough to help me_ and he’s got three options right there.

Except Harry tells him Zayn’s effectively straight, or as straight as it’s possible to be when in a band with a part-Veela, and Liam doesn’t want to ask him to do something he wouldn’t _want_ , so he thinks _well, Niall then,_ because it just makes sense.

He checks with Harry before he does anything about it, though, and Harry grins and says, “I couldn’t have chosen better for you.” Then he kisses Liam firmly on the lips and tells him, “I hereby give you permission to continue your sexual awakening with Niall, oh young one.”

Liam’s face doesn’t seem to know whether to frown or laugh, and he stutters out, “Oh, um. Thanks?” Harry seems to understand, anyway, and gives Liam an almost bruising hug. It does feel a little like goodbye, deep in Liam’s chest, but it’s okay. It’s like a _good_ goodbye.

*

Liam follows Niall out to the vending machine at a photoshoot set and stands against it while Niall gets his Hula-Hoops and Zayn’s Mars Bar.

“You getting anything?” Niall asks when he’s done, and Liam shakes his head and then nods. Niall waits patiently for him to decide.

“I want some help with sex,” Liam says, and watches Niall’s eyes go all wide with his bottom lip between his teeth.

“You what?” Niall doesn’t ask, because it’s Louis that says it. His arms are folded and he’s looking at Liam with heat in his eyes. Niall takes a step back.

“I, um.” Liam starts, but thankfully Harry comes up behind Louis and saves him.

“He wants some help with his sexual identity, Lou, no big deal,” Harry says, catching Louis around the shoulders with a lazy arm. Louis looks at him sideways and hisses back, “he’s a _robot_ , he doesn’t _have_ a sexual identity.”

“Don’t start on that again, Lou,” Niall says, voice harsher than usual. Liam wonders if that harshness is there for him and wants to catch Niall’s hand and squeeze it.

“On what? It’s a perfectly legitimate point!” Louis argues, and opens his mouth for more before Liam cuts across him.

“So was my point,” He says. “You aren’t me, Louis.”

They look at each other carefully for a long moment until Louis breaks away and looks at Niall instead.

“You _can’t_ though, Niall,” Louis says, “It’s not just- think how you’d be _taking advantage_.”

“Very concerned for someone who doesn’t have any emotions, Lou,” Liam hears Harry mutter. Louis glares at him.

“I’m- _yes,_ okay? I’m concerned.” Louis says, and looks right at Liam. “I’m scared you’ll get taken advantage of.”

Liam frowns and says, “That doesn’t make sense.”

“I know,” Louis replies, something about his voice that Liam wants to call miserable.

“Oh.”

Niall looks between them carefully but Harry looks at Liam. He looks calm, and Liam decides to be very calm, too.

“It’s my choice,” He says. Louis stays quiet for a long second, only looking up when Harry pokes him. He opens his mouth and takes a breath instead of speaking. He pulls at his shirt and shifts his feet. Finally, he looks right at Liam.

“Choose me, then,” He says, and Liam thinks _oh_ , looks at the way Louis juts his chin out and has his jaw looking firm and strong. Harry rolls his eyes next to Louis and Liam wonders what he’s supposed to read that as, but then he thinks _this isn’t Harry’s choice, that’s the point_.

So he says, “Okay.”

*

Kissing Louis is a lot like kissing Harry, Liam decides. Only Louis has less hair to grab onto. He’s sort of… slower with his hands, too, and the one time Liam tried touching Louis’ chest under his shirt he’d jumped right off the bed they’d been kneeling on.

But then… Liam notices how Louis looks at his lips a lot more than he used to. And he finds himself a bit fascinated by Louis’ cheekbones. And it’s _funny_ , sort of, because it’s nothing like kissing Harry in all the ways except the one where it’s still kissing.

“How’s it going?” Harry asks, in the middle of tour rehearsals, flicking his eyes to Louis and then back to Liam, which Liam assumes means _between you two_. Liam shrugs.

“It’s… nice?” He tries. Harry laughs at him. Liam tries again. “Well, it’s… good. It’s… I like it? That’s… you know, progress?”

Harry ruffles Liam’s hair and grins. “That’s definitely progress.”

Liam catches Louis looking at him and smiles, and tries not to show how surprised he is when Louis slowly smiles back. He looks around quickly and then blows Liam a little kiss. Harry whispers in Liam’s ear, “catch it, then,” and Liam wonders if this is a _thing_ and clumsily mimes catching, like, a little ball out of the air. Louis’ smile grows into a grin and Liam thinks _oh_ and, somewhere a bit further back, _pretty_.

“Louis is quite _pretty_ , isn’t he?” Liam asks Harry, even though the word feels a little weird in his mouth. Harry laughs at him again and Liam wonders if that’s something he should mind.

“He’s pretty,” Harry agrees, and then, “pretty weird, too. Pretty mental. Pretty messed up.” Liam frowns at him. That hadn’t been what he’d asked. Harry shakes his head and says, again, “Yeah, he’s pretty.”

Liam nods, glad that thought hadn’t just come from nowhere. “Okay,” He says.

And then, out of actual nowhere, Harry says the strangest thing. They aren’t even looking at each other. It’s just, like, something he says to the world. And it’s _weird_ , Liam doesn’t understand, and he understands even less the way he finds himself sort of… tucking it away. For later.

“I think you’ll probably enjoy kissing Louis more than you enjoyed kissing me,” He says, and, “And I think he’ll probably enjoy it more than I did, too.”

And then he smiles, pats Liam on the back, and leaves.

And Liam watches him. And he thinks _oh_ , and quietly tucks it away.


End file.
